The Matter of Little Losses

Finding Grace to Grieve the Big (and Small) Things

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Your grief isn't something to get over

Like paper cuts to the heart, every loss--the loss of friendships, dreams, health, innocence, and everything in between--grieves us more than we think it will, and often more than we let on. But what if it's time to give language to the loss we've lived through? What if it's time to give voice to the grief we carry?

In this compassionate and deeply personal book, Rachel Marie Kang shines a light on all the things we lose along the way. Through poetry, poignant storytelling, and reflective explorations on art and faith, Rachel guides you to:

● ponder your loss(es) without judgment
● remember what was and make meaning of your memories
● reflect on what is yet to be as you reach for hope

You don't have to bury your grief, and you don't have to pretend you're over your loss. Let this poetic book be a balm for your brokenness, giving space for sorrow and welcoming you to grieve the things that always mattered--and always will.

"A much-needed antidote to our quick-fix culture. Kang reminds us that in honoring sorrow we not only find solace but also a path to deeper communion with one another."--Dr. Alison Cook, therapist and author of The Best of You and Boundaries for Your Soul

"Kang draws on stories, art, and the power of our connections to remind us that our grief matters and that we are not alone in it. I am so grateful for this book."--Kaitlin B. Curtice, award-winning author of Native and Living Resistance


"The Matter of Little Losses provides a much-needed antidote to our quick-fix culture, inviting us to share and honor the gift of lament. Through her brave exploration of loss, Kang reminds us that in honoring sorrow we not only find solace but also a path to deeper communion with one another. I will be savoring the reflections it evoked in me for a long while to come."

Dr. Alison Cook, therapist and author of The Best of You and Boundaries for Your Soul

"In The Matter of Little Losses, we are gently tended to and carried through the various ways grief affects us. Rachel Marie Kang draws on stories, art, and the power of our connections to remind us that our grief matters and that we are not alone in it. As you journey through your own losses, Kang's poetry, thoughtful reflections, and story weaving will guide you along the way. I am so grateful for this book."

Kaitlin B. Curtice, award-winning author of Native and Living Resistance

"Rachel Marie Kang writes like a close friend you have known your whole life--the kind who gives you a long embrace when you've been apart for some time, the kind who holds your hand when you walk together, and the kind who knows what you're thinking about even when you haven't said it out loud. This book is a companion for each of us as we navigate life's changes-- the 'ordinary instants,' as Rachel refers to them, when life flips. It is masterfully and powerfully written. Rachel's words will stick with you long after you've turned the last page."

Ginny Yurich, podcaster and founder of 1000 Hours Outside

"For the last three decades, my life has been marked by consecutive and unrelenting losses. Like trying to escape a riptide in the ocean, I feared the waves of grief would carry me beyond rescue. As it turns out, the process of grief--of big devastations and small disappointments--became the necessary and sacred work of true healing. In The Matter of Little Losses, Rachel Marie Kang gives light for those walking dark pathways of grief, in whatever form. She is a fellow sojourner, knowing firsthand the complexities and impossibilities of grief. Thus she resists pat answers and instead offers compassion, comfort, and true friendship on every page."

Michele Cushatt, executive coach and author of A Faith That Will Not Fail

"Rachel Kang's poetic reflections on grief and loss are a sanctuary for those wrestling with the lingering sting of absence. Her attentiveness to such a delicate subject filled me with a profound sense of hope and camaraderie in reckoning with my own journey through grief. I highly recommend this and all of her work."

Stephen Roach, host of Makers & Mystics podcast and author of Naming the Animals

"Grief is a country, and we're all moving there. Rachel has created a luminous guidebook for us. There is deep value in reading her wise words in preparation, as they will help you understand and support the ones you love who travel ahead of you and help you savor the life you have now. But this book will be most precious clutched in the hands of grieving ones--a lifeline for those who find themselves deported to this terrifying place. You won't find toxic optimism or sanctimonious tips from Rachel, just the quiet, clean story of one who has lived here a long time. And she shares the unfathomable secrets of this country--life can be beautiful here. Not the losses that brought us here but the living with them can be good and joyful and holy. Rachel shares the rich goodness she's found in her own grieving. Into her own story she interweaves questions for you, questions you can follow like a map to uncover your own deep and rich and meaningful life in the land of grief."

Kate Haynes Murphy, pastor of The Grove Church and author of Lost, Hidden, Small

"Rachel Marie Kang is a person quickly defined as generous. She clearly desires to give of herself for the sake of others' well-being and betterment. She has a keen ear for rhythm and relationship, both in the way she constructs her sentences in their phonetically pleasing way and in the way she tunes herself to the emotional needs of her community--offering the balm and bandage of words spoken with care for each individual who listens."

Conor Sweetman, senior editor of Ekstasis magazine

"In The Matter of Little Losses, Rachel gave me permission I didn't know I needed to remember without shame the grief of being a human, and I came through on the other side feeling as if I'd shed layers of my past self I no longer need to carry but can honor instead. Her words are a mesmerizing dance, like a grand adage--slow, strong, and controlled."

Katherine N.

"Rachel invites readers to walk with her, hand in hand, as they experience their grief journeys through a new lens. Through sharing intimate reflections and personal stories, Rachel will peel back the layers of your heart and whisper 'You are held.' If you are looking for a transparent, healing, and redemptive exploration of grief, look no further."

Kristine A.

"Rachel writes on some of the deepest and most difficult pains and pangs, griefs and losses, with such tenderness, compassion, and gentleness that this book feels like an exercise in sitting still and breathing carefully and slowly. She reminds us there is grace beneath, and among, and despite."

Eunice H.

"This book spoke to me in the spaces, commas, and questions. Its words gave me permission to hope and heal. Grief touches all of us--but this book reminds us we can flourish and grow amid our lament."

Neidy H.

"Rachel's gift for crafting words that matter take the reader to a sacred place, a holy space that allows the heart to soak in the truth that yes, our pain matters. Yes, there is darkness, but light burns brighter."

Ruth P.

"Rachel has a way of captivating her audience with her gut-wrenching words and deep emotion. Her work gives us a sense of hope and nostalgia and help us embrace what's here now."

Shay C.

"The Matter of Little Losses is permission to feel and process our grief, to acknowledge its magnitude, its effect, and our shared human experience in our broken world. No loss is too small to be considered, and no grief is too large to be addressed head-on. I found my fears and sorrows touched tenderly, held, examined, and allowed to breathe. My griefs were given weight and looked at with the lenses of light and hope but not coddled or turned into a vacuous Sunday school lesson."

Cindy C.

"In a culture that tries to keep the realities of grief hidden in the dark and at times shames and dismisses certain types of grief, Rachel's words shine like a healing light. I felt Rachel's poetic and warm words wrap themselves tenderly around my heart. This book ushered in a new healing wave to my own lifelong grief journey."

Kristin V.

The Author

  1. Rachel Marie Kang

    Rachel Marie Kang

    Rachel Marie Kang is a New York native, born and raised just outside New York City. She is a writer of poems, prose, and other pieces, and she is the founder of Fallow Ink. A mixed woman of African American, Native American (Ramapough Lenape Nation), Irish,...

    Continue reading about Rachel Marie Kang