Reframing Your Good and Not-So-Good Stories about God, Love, and Relationships

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Redefine the Way You Look at God, Love, and Relationships

Sex is a big deal--yet many Christians struggle to make sense of their sexual story in light of their faith. Porn addiction, hooking up, hating sex, same-sex attraction, fighting about sex, or past sexual harm become part of a cycle of shame you can't escape.

Offering a redemptive, practical path to sexual wholeness, physician and minister Dr. Carol Tanksley shows how to understand both the good and not-so-good parts of your sexual story. Drawing from real-life stories, biblical truth, and contemporary research, Dr. Carol empowers you to

· reinterpret your sexual story with honesty and compassion
· find freedom from shame, compulsive behaviors, past harm, and hiding
· redefine the way you look at God, sex, love, and relationships
· orient your sexuality as God intended and embrace what he has for your future

Regardless of your relationship status, don't let your past keep you from experiencing what you were created for: true intimacy with God and others. Reclaim his vision of sexuality and intimacy so you and He together can write your next chapter with hope.


"Dr. Carol is uniquely qualified to address the close and often complicated relationship between our sexuality and spirituality. In Sexpectations, she draws upon her professional expertise as
both an ob-gyn and an ordained minister to examine this relationship with compassionate wisdom. Her redemptive perspective offers hope and help for those who live with the dissonance of a sexual story that feels out of alignment with their faith. I highly recommend this book for its informed and practical approach to mapping a path forward whereby those stories can be redeemed."

Bill Buker, DMin, PhD, LPC, associate dean and senior advisor to the university on wellness; senior professor of counseling, Graduate School of Theology and Ministry, Oral Roberts University

"As a pastor I see the struggle so many people experience around sexual issues. There's such a need, both in the church and in the world, to show people a path to sexual wholeness that is both compassionate and truth-filled. Dr. Carol's new book is full of grace and truth--just like Jesus was. She shows readers how to bring Jesus into their sexual story so they can be whole in their hearts and know what God has next for them, married or single."

Joe Champion, senior pastor, Celebration Church, Georgetown, Texas; author, Confronting Compromise

"We all have a sexual story that contains chapters of brokenness, confusion, and mismanagement. Dr. Carol does a masterful job of inviting the reader to explore their story in a hopeful and redemptive way. She offers a competence and compassion for those eager to write new chapters to their sexual story."

Jonathan Daugherty, founder and president, Be Broken Ministries

"Dr. Tanksley presents a beautifully rich and gentle resource for men and women alike to reframe sex, sexuality, and relationships. A thought-provoking read that isn't afraid to dive into hard places while exploring the whole of our sexual story and inviting the grace of Jesus to transform and heal."

Jessica Harris, author, Quenched: Discovering God's Abundant Grace for Women Struggling with Pornography and Sexual Shame

"As someone who has sexual trauma in her past and experiences same-sex attractions, it was refreshing to read a book that includes my type of sexual story--not as a footnote, but simply as another version of sexual brokenness that must be tenderly examined alongside everyone else's story. This book paves a gospel-hopeful path forward, no matter our sexual history."

Laurie Krieg, president, Impossible Ministries

"Dr. Carol is your friend through this entire book. Like a caring big sister, she asks powerful questions in a way that unravels shame and self-hatred--exposing the enemy and creating space for the real and personal Jesus to put His gentle finger on 'that' place and say, 'Here, let's deal with this.' Dr. Carol is a credible, compassionate, fun, and understanding guide, helping you on a safe path to courageously go where you have never gone to receive what you were designed to have: true intimacy and Jesus! This book is an essential resource for every pastor and counselor. I am excited to share this with our Love Triumphs community of women; this book will accelerate so much healing and sexual wholeness."

Mary Ann Otley, founder, Love Triumphs!

"Sexpectations is a must-read addition to ongoing conversations about godly sexuality. Author Carol Tanksley delves into what about our story keeps us from embracing God's design for sex and how we can pursue sexual wholeness and intimacy. Couples, singles, pastors, and counselors should add this book to their shelves!"

J. Parker, speaker and author, Hot, Holy, and Humorous: Sex in Marriage by God's Design

"Most of us carry a tremendous amount of unaddressed expectations when it comes to sex and sexuality in our lives. In this honest and thoughtful book, Dr. Carol helps us unpack the baggage we carry around and learn to live with compassion toward our own story. This book addresses many of the conversations we all wish we could have in a safe, Christ-centered manner. I believe you will find this book just as helpful and meaningful as I did."

Nick Stumbo, executive director, Pure Desire Ministries

"A home run! Dr. Carol Tanksley writes with wisdom, experience, compassion, and biblical understanding, gently inviting you to take a deep dive into sexual wholeness and true intimacy. Sidestepping superficial strategies, she invites you to ask tough questions and bravely confront the issues keeping you imprisoned, and offers fresh insight pointing to freedom and wholeness. A marvelous work."

Gary Thomas, author, Sacred Marriage and Cherish

"Feelings surrounding sex, intimacy, and love can cloud our actions and desires--they can hinder our love relationships. These emotions need to be tackled to have victory in our love life with people and with God. Dr. Carol will guide you as you unpack any hindrances connected to intimacy and direct you into wholeness, into fullness, into a life where you can thrive. Sexpectations is a brilliant work and one I highly recommend."

Lucille Williams, women's director; author, The Intimacy You Crave: Straight Talk about Sex and Pancakes

The Author

  1. Carol Tanksley MD, DMin

    Carol Tanksley MD, DMin

    Carol Tanksley, MD, DMin,( is an author, speaker, podcaster, licensed ob-gyn physician, and ordained minister. An expert on integrated wholeness for body, mind, and soul, she founded Dr. Carol Ministries to help people experience...

    Continue reading about Carol Tanksley MD, DMin