I Still Do

Growing Closer and Stronger through Life's Defining Moments

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A lasting marriage is built one defining moment at a time

When your spouse suffers. When dreams disappoint. When you're tempted to point fingers. When the kids leave the nest. It's how we think and behave toward one another in moments like these that determines whether our marriage endures or falters. Dave Harvey, author of the bestselling When Sinners Say "I Do," helps you recognize the life-defining moments of a post-newlywed marriage so you can take a proactive, godly approach to resolving conflicts, hold one another up as change inevitably happens, and ensure your marriage not only survives but thrives.


"A brilliant guide to the years that come long after the initial 'I do.' As someone who is closing in on a quarter century of marriage, I can say it's exactly the book I wanted to read, and perhaps even the book I needed to read."--Tim Challies, blogger at Challies.com

"Going the distance together requires us to face some big moments--defining moments--so that we can learn to love in brokenness and humility. I Still Do is a great guide for couples."--Elyse Fitzpatrick, author of Finding the Love of Jesus from Genesis to Revelation

"This book is so wise, so practically rich, so gospel deep it's hard to do it justice by a few sentences."-- Paul Tripp, bestselling author, pastor, and international conference speaker; president, Paul Tripp Ministries


Dave Harvey serves as the president of Great Commission Collective. He pastored for thirty-three years, serves on the board of CCEF, and travels widely across networks and denominations as a popular conference speaker. Dave is the author of When Sinners Say "I Do"; Am I Called?; and Rescuing Ambition; and a coauthor of Letting Go: Rugged Love for Wayward Souls. He and his wife, Kimm, have four kids and four grandchildren and live in southwest Florida. For videos, articles, or to book an event, visit www.revdaveharvey.com.


Endorsements

"A wise friend once told me, 'No one should write a book about marriage until they've been married for twenty years.' Then he reached his twentieth anniversary and amended his rule: 'No one should write a book about marriage until they've been married for thirty years.' The point is, none of us ever master marriage, because marriage, like the people involved in it, are constantly changing. Yet even though we never master it, there is much we can learn from those who have the wisdom and experience we lack. In I Still Do, Dave Harvey has given a brilliant guide to the second half of marriage, to the years that come long after the initial 'I do.' And as someone who is closing in on a quarter century of marriage, I can say it's exactly the book I wanted to read, and perhaps even the book I needed to read."

Tim Challies, blogger at Challies.com

"I'm personally so thankful for the wisdom that the Lord has given to my friend Dave Harvey and his willingness to be transparent about the realities of marriage beyond those first few years of blissful adjustments. Going the distance together requires us to face some big moments--defining moments--so that we can learn to love in brokenness and humility. I Still Do is a great guide for couples who have discovered that marriage brings complexity but love and wisdom help marriages last. This book is a testimony from three decades of living together before a loving God who fights for marriage. I warmly recommend it!"

Elyse Fitzpatrick, author of Finding the Love of Jesus from Genesis to Revelation

"I have written many endorsements, but after reading I Still Do, words fail me. This book is so wise, so practically rich, so gospel deep it's hard to do it justice by a few sentences. But here's what I think is most powerful about what Harvey has written: each page is a mirror. As you look into the pages of this book you'll see yourself, your spouse, the bumps and bruises of your journey, and the inescapable tendencies of your heart. But keep looking and you'll see Jesus--tender, kind, filled with powerful rescuing grace--and you'll remember that he is with you and has been with you in every moment of your journey. Read this book, know yourself, know your spouse, know Jesus, and walk on together with renewed hope."

Paul Tripp, bestselling author, pastor, and international conference speaker; president, Paul Tripp Ministries

"I've long benefited from Dave Harvey's godly wisdom on marriage. And this book came at a welcome time when I needed him again to point me toward hope in Christ. Now I know what book to share with couples married anywhere between five and fifty years as they face new challenges with renewed faith in the God of grace."

Collin Hansen, editorial director for The Gospel Coalition and coauthor of A God-Sized Vision: Revival Stories That Stretch and Stir

"I found this book very refreshing to my soul. It's coursing through with the real gospel and the very healthy biblical realism that not all our painful problems are due to our personal sin, but also from living in fallen bodies and fallen societies (like our families) and in a fierce spiritual war zone. Dave Harvey has given us a great gift. Newlyweds will benefit from learning to anticipate defining moments that build a durable marriage. But for those who've been married a while--perhaps a long time--and wonder why it's so hard, why things just don't work right, and may be losing hope, this book is priceless."

Jon Bloom, cofounder and senior teacher, Desiring God

"Here's a book with fresh insights, full of great aha moments, and that actually explores new ground in the complexity of the marriage relationship. Dave Harvey brings a pastor's heart and a theologian's mind to the subject to help all of us learn how we can do a better job of loving each other."

Bob Lepine, cohost of FamilyLife Today

"Honest, insightful, earthy, wise, hope-giving. Dave Harvey writes about marriage in a way that is theologically rich without being merely theoretical, transparent without being self-focused, realistic without being discouraging, and gospel-infused without being trite. This book has made my own marriage more durable. Let it do the same for you."

Dane Ortlund, executive vice president and Bible publisher, Crossway

"There are few people who understand the dynamics of marriage like Dave Harvey. After forty-seven years of marriage, I am still learning the lessons that Dave unpacks in this book. If you're wondering if this is an easy read, the answer is no, but not because it isn't well written. It isn't easy because it challenges us in ways that we often prefer to ignore or deny. Dave's insights are biblical, practical, and quite profound. I urge everyone who cares about the health of their marriage (and who doesn't?) to dig deeply into this excellent book."

Sam Storms, pastor of Bridgeway Church, Oklahoma City, OK

"If you want a picture of marriage, don't go to a waterpark. You may see inner tubes floating down a river and become terribly misled. Marriage is more like a marathon; the course is long, the work is grueling, and the couple seems rather out of shape. Of course, many quit. But Dave Harvey wants your marriage to endure and to thrive. I Still Do is more than just a training manual; it's medicine for the journey. Whatever you and your spouse are staring at--exciting plans or dashed dreams, a full plate or an empty nest, easy communication or endless conflict--these moments will either derail or define your course. God longs to help you run faster and farther than you ever could alone. Open this book and watch him work."

Matt Smethurst, managing editor of The Gospel Coalition and author of Before You Open Your Bible: Nine Heart Postures for Approaching God's Word and 1-2 Thessalonians: A 12-Week Study

"I want a long-lasting, satisfying marriage that is rugged and durable. Suffering will come. Sin will mess things up. Satan will undermine us. Children will leave. Sex will change. Friendship will wither. Blaming and fights will surface. I want my marriage to not just survive but thrive in a fallen world. Dave Harvey serves us yet again by writing another solid, Christ-honoring marriage book. Get a copy and read it with your spouse!"

Deepak Reju, pastor of biblical counseling and family ministry, Capitol Hill Baptist Church, Washington, DC; author of She's Got the Wrong Guy and The Pastor and Counseling

"The opportunities for grace pile up throughout the years of a seasoned marriage, as we discover that sinners saying 'I do' is an ongoing commitment in living out the experience of one flesh. For this reason, I am incredibly thankful for I Still Do. Page after page, Dave Harvey offers biblical truth and pastoral wisdom for the increasing complexities and uncharted territories of couples growing older together."

Jared C. Wilson, assistant professor of pastoral ministry at Spurgeon College and author of The Imperfect Disciple

"I was both surprised and delighted at the humor, honesty, and deep wisdom that Dave Harvey brings to the question of what it means to thrive and flourish within a marriage that has grown out of the early days of heady enthusiasm. This book is packed with insightful, gospel-saturated truths that get to the very heart of our challenges, and gives both hope and practical, down-to-earth strategies to make your own marriage all that God intends. And because it's fundamentally biblical in nature, it's needed for those of us in the UK, and elsewhere in the world, as much as it is for America. I can't wait to get it into the hands of those I serve and love. Simply speaking, this is the best book on Christian marriage that I have ever read."

Pete Greasley, senior pastor, Christchurch, Newport, UK

"I praise God for this incredibly helpful book in which Dave Harvey speaks to the heart of marriages shaped by years of defining moments. In reading it I was encouraged and challenged to view my soul, marriage, spouse, and our collective experiences the way God sees them, and to celebrate the difference Jesus makes in all of it. Regardless of where you are in your journey and what you have or have not experienced, I Still Do will be of great benefit to you and your marriage."

Jamin Stinziano, lead pastor, Summit Church

"Standing at the altar with my husband almost two decades ago, I had no idea what the future would bring. And even though I still imagine myself that young bride, the truth is that the years have changed us. We are different people facing unique challenges in each new season of life. That's why I'm grateful for a book like I Still Do. Within its pages, Dave Harvey offers advice and hard-won perspective for marriages like mine that are starting a second lap around the track. But above all, Harvey calls us to run our race relying on the very thing that brought us together in the first place: the grace and kindness of God."

Hannah Anderson, author of Humble Roots and All That's Good


The Author

  1. Dave Harvey
    Sandy Windham

    Dave Harvey

    Dave Harvey (DMin, Westminster Theological Seminary) serves as the president of Great Commission Collective, a church planting ministry in the US, Canada, and abroad. Dave founded AmICalled.com, pastored for thirty-three years, serves on the board of CCEF, and...

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