The Cost of Control
Why We Crave It, the Anxiety It Gives Us, and the Real Power God Promises
About
God didn't give us control. He gave us something better.
We all wish we had more control. When our relationships are strained, when our bodies refuse to cooperate, when the future is uncertain, control promises security and peace. If only I were in charge, we dream. And this illusion seems more attainable than ever. Technology, science, and medicine all promise us ever-increasing mastery over our world.
The problem is, the more we seek the illusion of control, the more it betrays us. In place of certainty, it gives us anxiety. In place of predictability, it creates complexity. And in place of unity, it divides. It's not just that we cannot control things, it's that we break them even more when we try.
Thankfully the answer to our craving is not simply to "let go and let God." Instead, God has given us a better tool. In this eye-opening book, Sharon Hodde Miller helps us discover the real power God has given us in Christ--to exercise influence over ourselves and our lives.
"If you are like me, and you find yourself grasping for all kinds of control, this book is a breath of fresh air. Sharon takes the time to remind us of all the ways we are grasping for that control and how it's hurting us, but more importantly, she reminds us of the power we have through the Holy Spirit. This book is for every single one of us."--Jamie Ivey, bestselling author of You Be You and host of The Happy Hour with Jamie Ivey podcast
"With sharp theological and psychological understanding, Sharon opens a world of insight that we desperately need to loosen the grip--or rather be freed from the grip--of the illusion of control. This book is a gift."--Rich Villodas, pastor of New Life Fellowship and author of The Deeply Formed Life
Endorsements
"I don't know about you, but for the last few years, I have been doing war with my longing for control. And honestly I've been losing. One huge part of the problem is that we're not having conversations about how the gospel is the balm for our desire to keep it all together. No one is talking about how God's Word is the lamp our feet so desperately need because we're fumbling and falling over our own self-sufficiency. Instead, we're praised when playing with the idol of control. Enter Sharon. She is our wise pal, our gentle and knowledgeable pastor friend. With care, curiosity, and boldness she's leading us to lay down control in a kingdom way. I am so grateful. Please read this book."
Jess Connolly, author of Breaking Free from Body Shame and You Are the Girl for the Job
"In The Cost of Control Sharon is at her best. Her theologically rich words are wise, helpful, and transformative. Discover the freedom you were created for."
Dr. Derwin L. Gray, cofounder of Transformation Church and author of How to Heal Our Racial Divide
"We live in an anxious culture, and at the core of it is our need to be in control. Even more, society disciples us into an anxiety-ridden life, forming us to believe that more control is the solution. With sharp theological and psychological understanding, Sharon shows us how faulty this thinking is and opens a world of insight that we desperately need to loosen the grip--or rather be freed from the grip--of the illusion of control. This book is a gift."
Rich Villodas, pastor of New Life Fellowship and author of The Deeply Formed Life
"Sharon Hodde Miller is a voice every leader needs to be listening to. Sharon's mix of confession, theological insight, and observations about the human condition in The Cost of Control are convicting, helpful, and liberating."
Carey Nieuwhof, speaker, podcaster, and bestselling author of At Your Best
"I am more and more convinced that self-awareness is a good start on the road to freedom, but what we really need is a trusted guide offering us a path. In The Cost of Control Sharon Hodde Miller skillfully takes a deep dive into control--why we want it, how we wield it, and how it gets hold of us. With plenty of study, keen observation, and confession, Sharon offers us a way to explore our own control dynamics so we can be freed from their grip. I appreciate how Sharon first shows us what control offers us (which is why we want it) before showing us the cost of it and ultimately how we can yield it to God. The Cost of Control is timely and essential for thriving nowadays."
Steve Cuss, pastor and author of Managing Leadership Anxiety
"You might not think of yourself as a person who struggles with control. Think again. In this illuminating book, Sharon Hodde Miller offers a thoughtful, well-researched guide on the oldest sin of humankind and how that sin infects all of us. Her clarion call to name our control issues--and then to unravel ourselves from them--couldn't come at a better time for our culture. Sharon is a respected truthteller, and the kind of truth she deals in here will surely set you free."
Jennifer Dukes Lee, author of It's All Under Control and Growing Slow
"In The Cost of Control Sharon Hodde Miller explains that our need to control everything around us is coming with a cost to our spiritual, physical, and emotional health. At a time when so many of us feel out of control, this book will help bring a necessary release. Sharon doesn't just give her advice, she gives you her pastoral presence. What if where you are right now is exactly where God can most lead you?"
Heather Thompson Day, author of It's Not Your Turn
"If you are like me, and you find yourself grasping for all kinds of control, this book is a breath of fresh air. Sharon takes the time to remind us of all the ways we are grasping for that control and how it's hurting us, but more importantly, she reminds us of the power we have through the Holy Spirit. This book is for every single one of us."
Jamie Ivey, bestselling author of You Be You and host of The Happy Hour with Jamie Ivey podcast
The Author
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Sharon Hodde Miller
Sharon Hodde Miller, PhD, is teaching pastor at Bright City Church in Durham, North Carolina, which she cofounded with her husband, Ike. The author of Free of Me, The Cost of Control, and Gazing at God, Miller has blogged at...
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