One by One

Welcoming the Singles in Your Church

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You may be ignoring the fastest-growing demographic in your community

There are now more single adults than married adults in the United States. Yet the evangelical church often focuses primarily on serving couples and families. As a result, singles may feel undervalued and underserved, causing them to look elsewhere for spiritual nourishment and community engagement.

Through fascinating personal testimonies from a wide variety of single believers, Gina Dalfonzo shows that serving singles well is not difficult--and it benefits everyone. She gives church leaders and lay members alike a rare glimpse into the challenges many single adults face and offers practical ways to involve singles in the life of the church.


"Here's a book on singleness that won't tell you how to score a spouse nor condemn a growing generation of unmarried Christians. Instead, Gina Dalfonzo shares her own story along with many others', enriching our understanding of the stereotypes they face and the faith they live by."--Kate Shellnutt, Christianity Today

"One by One is full of practical wisdom that a congregation of any size can use to create a culture of welcome for every member of the body of Christ."--Michelle Van Loon, author of Moments & Days: How Our Holy Celebrations Shape Our Faith

"Without preaching or shaming, Gina Dalfonzo tells the church what we need to know--that is, the experience of the singles in our midst (or, perhaps, of the singles who can't stand to be in it!). With sometimes hilarious and always warm and wise insights from her life, as well as the lives of other single people, Dalfonzo shows us ways to fully love and welcome our single brothers and sisters."--Caryn Rivadeneira, author of Known and Loved: 52 Devotions from the Psalms

"One by One is a desperately needed book just now for churches serious about honoring the inherent dignity of all who enter their doors. I hope it gets the wide reading it deserves."--John Stonestreet, president, the Chuck Colson Center for Christian Worldview 


Gina Dalfonzo is the editor of BreakPoint.org, as well as an occasional writer for BreakPoint Radio. She is the editor of Dickensblog and a columnist at Christ & Pop Culture. Her writing has been published in The Atlantic, Christianity Today, First Things, National Review, The Weekly Standard, Guideposts, Aleteia, The Stream, and OnFaith, among others.


Endorsements

"Here's a book on singleness that won't tell you how to score a spouse nor condemn a growing generation of unmarried Christians. Instead, Gina Dalfonzo shares her own story along with many others', enriching our understanding of the stereotypes they face and the faith they live by."

Kate Shellnutt, Christianity Today

"The Bureau of Labor Statistics notes that 50.2% of the adults over age sixteen in this country are unmarried. Many of our churches continue to focus their outreach and programming toward families, often (unintentionally) leaving Christian singles feeling as though they're on the outside looking in. Gina Dalfonzo offers an insight-filled and gracious look at the ways in which both individual congregations and Christian subculture haven't been especially hospitable to singles. In addition, she offers readers thoughtful ways in which they can include, enfold, and honor the experiences of singles in their churches. One by One is full of practical wisdom that a congregation of any size can use to create a culture of welcome for every member of the body of Christ."

Michelle Van Loon, author of Moments & Days: How Our Holy Celebrations Shape Our Faith

"Without preaching or shaming, Gina Dalfonzo tells the church what we need to know: that is, the experience of the singles in our midst (or, perhaps of the singles who can't stand to be in it!). With sometimes hilarious and always warm and wise insights from her life, as well as the lives of other single people, Dalfonzo shows us ways to fully love and welcome our single brothers and sisters."

Caryn Rivadeneira, author of Known and Loved: 52 Devotions from the Psalms

"One by One is a desperately needed book just now for churches serious about honoring the inherent dignity of all who enter their doors. In this very practical book, Gina identifies how the church underserves singles even while the larger culture leaves them looking for connection and truth. I hope it gets the wide reading it deserves."

John Stonestreet, president, the Chuck Colson Center for Christian Worldview

"One by One is an immensely insightful encouragement to every churchgoer. The book is beautifully written and brimming with stories and hard-won wisdom. Gina Dalfonzo encourages us to not only love the singles in our midst but to also empower them, tapping into an amazing resource for the kingdom. A thoroughly enjoyable read!"

Mary DeMuth, author of Worth Living: How God's Wild Love for You Makes You Worthy

"It's finally here. When it comes to singles in the church, this is the book the evangelical church has needed! Dalfonzo deftly makes a case for how the evangelical church has managed to make marriage an idol while simultaneously 'distorting reality, inflating expectations,' and fostering bitterness and disillusionment among the single people in our pews. She makes fair critiques while also expressing gratitude for the church. And then she graciously offers a way forward. This book is smart, persuasive, and convicting. I want to hand a copy to every church leader I know. Dalfonzo is a wise and desperately needed voice in the evangelical church today. Heed her wisdom."

Marlena Graves, author of A Beautiful Disaster

"Intimate and excessively readable, Dalfonzo claims a spot for singles in every congregation in a voice at once both erudite and empathetic. Her pragmatic and compassionate tone, integrated with several perspectives from singles across the country, provides an integral space for acceptance and commonality. Essential reading for every member of a church congregation, One by One extends beyond the single experience and speaks to the church community at large."

Rachel McMillan, author of A Lesson in Love and Murder 

"Gina Dalfonzo has written an important, wise, nuanced, and insightful book on singleness in the church. Weaving literary examples with interviews and Scripture, Gina has something to challenge and encourage all of us, single or married, pastor or layperson. As our culture's sexual ethics continue to move away from biblical standards, we will need voices like Dalfonzo's to articulate a virtuous, flourishing vision for singleness."

Alan Noble, PhD, editor-in-chief, Christ and Pop Culture

"Dalfonzo seeks to break down some of the stereotypes about Christian singles and change the way the church thinks about and interacts with the singles sitting beside them in the pews, because they are often made to feel awkward, ashamed, or even freakish for not being married. Singles, like married couples and families, need support, sympathy, and celebration for important life events. Church leaders often don't realize this--which is why every pastor should have a copy of One by One on his or her desk."

Anne Morse, coauthor of My Final Word with Chuck Colson and Prisoner of Conscience: One Man's Fight for Human and Religious Rights with Frank Wolf


The Author

  1. Gina Dalfonzo

    Gina Dalfonzo

    Gina Dalfonzo is the editor of BreakPoint.org (website of The Colson Center), as well as an occasional writer for BreakPoint Radio. She is also editor of Dickensblog and a columnist at Christ & Pop Culture. Her writing has been published in...

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