Intimate Deception

Healing the Wounds of Sexual Betrayal

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Hope, help, and a way forward--from someone who's been there.

"Sexual betrayal is a devastating blow, and Dr. Sheri Keffer knows this professionally and personally. Her insight and instruction are invaluable on the topic. Practical tools, a friend who understands, and hope for a future can all be found in this book."--Daniel G. Amen, MD, founder of Amen Clinics and author of Memory Rescue

"Intimate Deception is the best book I have ever read for women who have been sexually betrayed by their spouse. Dr. Keffer is not just a warm and wise counselor; she personally has been through the trenches after facing the shame and devastation of sexual betrayal. Her explanation on betrayal trauma's impact on a woman's brain functioning is outstanding and will help a woman understand why she sometimes feels so crazy. Each chapter provides not only explanation and validation but also practical steps readers can take to regain their emotional and spiritual well-being."--Leslie Vernick, relationship coach, speaker, and author of The Emotionally Destructive Relationship and The Emotionally Destructive Marriage

"Marriage infidelity is devastating to the person who has been betrayed, and it impacts every dimension: trust, confidence, and self-image, to name a few. This book provides practical and also inspirational hope for the journey of healing. Highly recommended."--John Townsend, PhD, psychologist, New York Times bestselling author, and founder of the Townsend Institute for Leadership and Counseling

"Dr. Keffer zeros in on the greatest need of betrayed partners--healing from trauma. From her research she's coined the term Intimate Deception Betrayal Trauma™ and highlights the two things a woman is looking for: safety and the truth. Courageously sharing her own story, Dr. Keffer guides readers to understanding their trauma, then taking the steps that lead to healing."--Dr. Milton S. Magness, author of Stop Sex Addiction and Real Hope, True Freedom


Beyond broken vows, discovering the one you love has been viewing pornography, sexting, or having an affair deals a devastating blow to your self-image and self-worth. You must grapple with the fact that the man you thought you knew has intentionally lied and deceived you.

With compassion and understanding, Dr. Sheri Keffer invites you to discover the healing you can have after the trauma of sexual betrayal. As a marriage and family therapist and a woman who has personally experienced the devastation of sexual betrayal, Dr. Keffer gives you the tools you need to not only survive this traumatic experience but also thrive in your "new normal."

She unpacks how betrayal affects your mind, body, spirit, and sexuality and offers practical tools for dealing with emotional triggers. She also explains the realities of sexual deception and shows you how to practice self-care, develop healthy boundaries, protect yourself from abuse or manipulation, and find freedom from the burden of shame and guilt.

Life will never be the same after sexual betrayal. But you can recover and become stronger. This compassionate book shows you how.


Dr. Sheri Keffer is the cohost of the nationally syndicated Christian talk show New Life Live!, with an audience of more than two million people each week on 150 stations nationwide. For nearly twenty years, she's been in private practice as a marriage and family therapist in Newport Beach, California, and is a Certified Clinical Partner Specialist (CCPS) and Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT). She is a passionate advocate for women who've experienced betrayal, and she holds a doctorate in marriage and family therapy and a master's degree in theology, both from Fuller Theological Seminary.


Endorsements

"Sexual betrayal is a devastating blow, and Dr. Sheri Keffer knows this professionally and personally. Her insight and instruction are invaluable on the topic. Practical tools, a friend who understands, and hope for a future can all be found in this book."

Daniel G. Amen, MD, founder, Amen Clinics, author of Memory Rescue

"Intimate Deception is the best book I have ever read for women who have been sexually betrayed by their spouse. Dr. Keffer is not just a warm and wise counselor; she personally has been through the trenches after facing the shame and devastation of sexual betrayal. Her explanation on betrayal trauma's impact on a woman's brain functioning is outstanding and will help a woman understand why she sometimes feels so crazy. Each chapter provides not only explanation and validation but also practical steps readers can take to regain their emotional and spiritual well-being."

Leslie Vernick, relationship coach, speaker, and author of The Emotionally Destructive Relationship and The Emotionally Destructive Marriage

"Marriage infidelity is devastating to the person who has been betrayed, and it impacts every dimension: trust, confidence, and self-image, to name a few. Using clinical research, counseling anecdotes, and Dr. Keffer's own personal experience, this book provides practical and also inspirational hope for the journey of healing. Highly recommended."

John Townsend, PhD, psychologist, New York Times bestselling author, and founder of the Townsend Institute for Leadership and Counseling

"Dr. Keffer zeros in on the greatest need of betrayed partners--healing from trauma. Drawing from her research and work with betrayed partners, she has coined the term Intimate Deception Betrayal Trauma (IDBT), which encapsulates the condition of wounded and betrayed partners. Courageously sharing her own story, Dr. Keffer guides readers to understanding their trauma and how it may be both similar to and different from that faced by others, then taking the steps that lead to healing. Betrayed partners will find hope in this book."

Dr. Milton S. Magness, author of Stop Sex Addiction and Real Hope, True Freedom

"When a woman is blindsided by sexual betrayal, her world capsizes. She never expected it, so she never planned for it (why would she?), and she scrambles for answers. Intimate Deception is a life raft of hope and help, providing the encouragement and guidance that can only come from a fellow traveler. Sheri Keffer has 'been there, done that,' sharing simply and powerfully from her personal journey as well as her professional expertise. She walks with the reader through their pain and recovery, offering hope for healing and freedom. Intimate Deception is simply the warmest book out there for someone who hurts."

Dr. Mike Bechtle, author of I Wish He Had Come with Instructions

"There is way more to Intimate Deception than the title might suggest. This is the sexual betrayal recovery bible: loaded with stories illustrating your experience, full of optional treatments, and built on recent research, all with evidence-based outcomes. This book is from a woman who has been through it, did her own recovery, and took her mission through graduate training so that she could share it with you. Thank you, Dr. Keffer, for providing a great personal model and then taking the time to pull everything together for those suffering from this betrayal."

Dave Carder, author of Torn Asunder: Recovering from an Extramarital Affair

"Dr. Keffer's book, Intimate Deception, is a powerful, comprehensive treatment of a complex subject. She combines her clinical expertise on trauma and her personal experience of sexual betrayal to capture both the mind and the heart of the reader. Dr. Keffer's own journey through heartbreak and loss will resonate with anyone who has discovered sexual infidelity and is walking down the dark road of shattered trust. She invites the reader to benefit from this painful time by looking at their own history and the impact of trauma across a life span. She defines intimacy and relational safety and provides tools to discover unexposed wounds that block satisfying connection. Betrayal trauma affects our brain, and Dr. Keffer takes the complicated subject of brain science and makes it easy to understand, practical, and useful. This is a beautifully written and important book as more and more relationships are harmed by sexual deception. We highly recommend it not only to those affected by betrayal but also to those helping others navigate this difficult terrain."

Milan and Kay Yerkovich


The Author

  1. Dr. Sheri Keffer
    Photo: © Coleman Keffer Photography

    Dr. Sheri Keffer

    Dr. Sheri Keffer is the cohost of the nationally syndicated Christian talk show New Life Live, with an audience of more than two million people each week on 150 stations nationwide. For nearly 20 years, she's been in private practice as a marriage and...

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